19 years later after 9/11/2001
It’s late night now, or should I say early morning and I have spent hours looking on my computer for a file I wrote 2 months ago. That’s how my life has been. After working intently hard on restricting my life...it seems to be falling apart since Covid 19’s appearance. Then there was the ensuing escalation of the conflicts within our country on policy and the fallout of people being able to live within a system that just seemed antiquated or at least unprepared and unresponsive to the increased demands that the country's situation brought to light. I know I am only one of many who went to social media to see, “What’s on your mind” only to feel darkness and an impending sense of doom, temporarily relieved by the pictures of cats or occasionally some wildlife photos and inspiring scenery.
This was replaced by the strong shock of wildfires galore and apocalyptic scenes of fire and brimstone burning our national forests and homes as well, setting off our already unnerved spirits, further increasing our isolation and finding ourselves unable to find solace with others other than turning to Zoom. I have somehow become more proficient at Zoom and social media in general, and have found myself trying to keep up with sending messages of beautiful music and meditation although there is no place to actually spread the love. I miss being able to give and get hugs even though, if I'm being honest, I am not a hugger. I am tired of not being able to feel comfortable around relatives and friends and feel this is a slow pause in the waiting room of another Covid reoccurrence mixed with the onset of the flu season. Many of us have shifted our priorities and while it was nice to be able to go to the beach a few times, it too was somehow cut short by restrictions on how many could actually park, then came the appearance of sharks coming too close to the shore, and let’s not forget the sudden powerful thunderstorms and winds that suddenly would crop up. But...not everything was terrible.
There was a lighter side to this. It gave me the opportunity to see my own fears and the limitations in my head, and also to try and look at the fact that I was actually not alone in these past few months. Too many people have been affected. I think we all have been affected and saddened. We had all hoped that America was better and stronger than that. The leading edge country of wealth and power found itself unemployed and searching for new ways to be able to live, eat and pay the bills. Some of us have had to leave our jobs because of closures, others have had to put their jobs on a back burner because their kids need to be helped during this experimental hybrid teaching. It has become crazy just trying to plan anything and as unpredictable and scary as to who would get Covid 19 next. It just goes to show that; just when you think you have it all figured out...you have not! So change is always with us, whether we know it or not. Can we adapt? Gardeners can tell you that it is not only possible but inevitable as some carry great crops of tomatoes and others get only a few. Sometimes it is experience, sometimes location, sometimes just plain old luck.
So before the wheel of karma decides to strike any more blows our way, it is good practice to just take a breath. Just take a breath and pause. Try it. It’s amazing how fast we want to grab our phones instead. Maybe instead of reading about “what’s on your mind” in other people's social media we should inquire “what’s in your inner mind today”. Then sit and breathe and explore the downright sexiness of it. What is that thing that bothers me so much that it will not allow me to give up a minute to just connect to that inner place? That place of dimension that connects to the core of the earth, to every cell of our body and to that indefinable place called the Spirit, God or Universal Love. Why will we fight going to the place that refreshes us much less be showered with it. Try it- you just might be able to get a little spark of joy and a peace of mind that you can carry with you and can go back to at any point of your day. Make that shift..
Make that shift.. These times are so volatile that one cannot expect anyone to do it for you but maybe your shining presence can help them. Just do it!